In my last post, I went over remasters of older games. StarCraft II, while not a remaster, was a sequel to the most famous Real Time Strategy game of all time, StarCraft: Brood War. In my early college days, I spent a lot of time watching streams of this game and grinding the ladder. I hit a plateau in Diamond and did not push myself too hard to get past that level. I watched a few of my replays, looked up a few builds and guides, but ultimately shied away from pushing myself further competitively.
Whenever I become engrossed and immersed into a game, I start to see it everywhere, even in my dreams. I remember the month I really got into Dance Dance Revolution and started seeing arrow patterns in my sleep. The brain is an extraordinary thing and it rather joyfully seeks out patterns, even when they might not exist.
I was taking Metra train rides at the time from Chicago to the suburbs once a week. I always enjoyed riding trains. I would nap or watch youtube videos to pass the time. I remember so distinctly one afternoon I was falling asleep on the train and I overheard a conversation. “Supply block… twelve… depot…” Was I overhearing a StarCraft II conversation? “Lings… two base…” Were they talking about Terran versus Zerg?
I sprung up from my slouched slumber and eyed around the train. The conversation was coming from two older professionals, one man and one woman. I focused more closely on their conversation. It had nothing to do with StarCraft.
StarCraft was a great game that I enjoyed for many years, even more years as a casual spectator. I have fond memories of the game, but ultimately it was a chapter in my life. Contextualizing one chapter of my life and one misheard conversation, what other conversations have I misinterpreted due to the lens I held at the time?
One of my very favorite quotes in all of Mad Men is in Season 4, Episode 8: The Summer Man. Don writes to himself in a journal.
People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be.
Don Draper
This line struck me and has never left. Our perceptions of our lives and of others deeply shapes how we interact with them and how we perceive them. It seems obvious that our perceptions shape how we perceive things. But our biases go much farther than selecting bits of information we like and censoring out others. Our perception and biases blind us to who people identify themselves as. Of course, this quote can be read into as first impressions or taking people’s word for face value. But the more powerful message to me is that our minds will change reality when it conflicts with our desires.
Is Don talking about the women in his life? Or is his question more of a reflection of himself and what others perceive of him? This extends to ourselves as well. We may perceive others incorrectly because of our desires, but that also means others may do so as well, seeing us the way they want to see us. It takes time and a lot of experience to understand who people truly are, especially when we give each other the benefit of the doubt and we have our biases filtering out reality.
The next time you find yourself thinking, “am I just hearing what I want to hear?” try taking off the strongest lenses or paradigms you’re holding and remember that others have the exact same problem. Communication is about conveying ideas across to one another, accurately. After all, do we talk to each other or are we talking to ourselves aloud?
Leadership, Design, Writing 